professional crastinator = One who waits until the very last second to do anything, but still gets it done. One who will do anything and everything he/she can to put off work, including writing definitions into the Urban Dictionary. One who procrastinates in every aspect in his or her life.
“What do you do for a living?”
“Well, I’m a Professional Crastinator”
“Hold on, I’ll tell you in a minute.”